


Lost in the depths of my own mind

by gurleeennnn



Category: No Fandom
Genre: Alternate Origin Story, Love Confessions, Love Poems, Minor Character Death, Other, Poetry, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-17 11:33:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28848375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gurleeennnn/pseuds/gurleeennnn
Summary: Literally, just poems/stories I write at 4 am
Kudos: 1





	1. Forbidden Love

Oh how I desire to be the one you hold in your arms 

The one you give your unconditional love to

The one you...

No.., 

That would never happen.

For I am the women you love in the shadows,

The one you could never bring into the light of day.

I embarrass you.

You will never admit it because you are too busy unzipping my pants and kissing my inner tights to care. 

You take me as a fool, 

as if if you were to leave I would be in tears.

Agony.

But my dear, I would be free from these chains you call ‘love’

These chains you call adoration 

These chains you call warmth.

How I wish a had the will power to break these chains myself 

but these chains have not yet rusted over. 

So will continue being your fool of the night as you moan into my ear with pleasure your wife could not bring you.

-Forbidden love is forbidden for a reason, my dear


	2. I Despise You.

Ana how I wish you were dead.

I wish you were dead so I would have a reason to get out of bed. 

I wish you were dead so I could join my friends and family outside.

I wish you were dead so I could spend my days on the beach just as I used to

But instead, I spend my days rotting away on a screen in bed

I hate Ana.

Ana hates me. 

but we are still bound together with an unsaid said knot of torture eating away at me

you bring me pain.

But I cannot let you go,

not because I don’t want to 

because I can’t. 

I try, and try, and try

but no matter where I go 

Ana is by my side mocking me.

⁃ til death do us part


	2. Chapter 2

You lay 7 feet beneath the ground I stand on. 

I visit you everyday

leaving the cookies I made that you loved 

Reading aloud the books you loved hoping you hear it from where you are

I no longer believe in god.

If he were real you would still be here 

You would still be standing next to me 

You would still be laughing with me 

But instead,

I cry.


	4. I waited

I waited.

I waited for you to say those words my heart dearly desires to hear

The words that would connect us

The words that would mend us like the scarf my grandmother sewed together for me when it was ripped from my hands 

I sob as my grandmother tells me that the hole was too big to be mended

I beg her to still attempt

for the scarf held to many memories to be forgotten by a simple aperture 

Too many feelings were connected with the scarf

My grandmother stays up till dawn mending the scarf 

I remember jumping with excitement when I was informed I could finally see it again

It’s wasn’t the same. 

The memories were gone.

There was no trace of feeling attached anymore.

Only then I realize it was just another piece of fabric that I chose to keep by my side all this time

Nothing more than an appealing design to one's eye.

I no longer desire to hear those words come from you,

I no longer want to be united as one

I have learned to let go.

-I no longer wait for you.


End file.
